mow: the winding road

Everything was blurry. All I could see was the winding road in front of me. The cold crept through my clothes and froze me to the core. I could feel blood caked on my head. I slowly got to my feet and started walking along the road looking for something, anything. I turned and saw the wreckage behind me, I knew I was lucky to be alive. I couldn’t look at it anymore. I kept walking forward with no idea where I was going. I just wanted to feel warm. I thought of home and my family, gathered around the table for dinner wondering where I was or why I was so late. I could picture each and every one of their faces. My wife, beautiful as can be. My oldest, a strapping boy. Tall and broad with a smile that brought all the girls to him. Then my daughter, young and prettier then any of the girls in her class. Her books were her best friends and she couldn’t be any happier then she was. Finally, our baby. Little more then a year old and the one thing that gets me through each and every day. A smile crept on my face despite the cold and pain. I was gonna make it back to them no matter what. I kept on walking down the winding road, leaving everything else behind except that ray of hope.

I’m not sure about this one. I just looked at the picture I made and felt like it was someones blurry view of the road. So I started to think “Why is it blurry?” My first thought was that there was a car accident on the windy, snowing road and then this is what came of that thought. Starts out sounding like another depressing one, but turns out in the end it actually was a happy hopeful one. Hope you enjoy. This is number two for today so I feel like with everything going on this week my writing is gonna keep coming out in crazy amounts per day. We’ll see what happens. For now enjoy and comment.

mow: the one

The breeze gently danced through the field of grains as we slowly walked through with no destination in mind. The soft clouds accented her satin white dress that made her look serene and elegant. She grasped my hand and pulled me through the grains until we were in the center of the field. I held her close to me as I looked into her beautiful eyes the color of a crisp clear blue sky. The wind tossed her golden hair into her face and I gently brushed it aside. Her skin was soft and tender as I leaned in for a kiss. Our lips touched and I closed my eyes. Everything faded away. All I saw was her standing in the field looking back at me with that smile that melts my heart and makes me weak in the knees. I knew she was the one for me, just from that kiss and that smile. Being with her and having her hand in mine felt so perfect and so right. It was true love and I was never gonna leave that field.

So focusing on the writing was a good call. I’ve been using my photoshop skills to incorporate a visual element into the writing and it’s becoming exactly the inspiration I needed. I can look at some of the pictures I’ve made, such as the last two posts and the two banners I’ve even made for the blog page, and come up with a story from them. This piece here was all about love and feeling so right with a person and turned out to be probably my only truly happy piece so far. I was actually just talking about that today so I wanted to try something not so emo. Anyways, enjoy both the picture and my literary element and comment your thoughts.

mow: the night

The sun slowly sinks below the horizon and the night becomes alive. A quiet falls over the land as everything drifts into a land of dreams. Anything and everything is possible, my biggest nightmares or my greatest dreams. I can be a knight, or a wizard, or just myself. I feel alive and like nothing can stand in my way. Then the nightmares hit. Evil creatures and thoughts, twisted and haunting me. I struggle against them, fear setting in. I fight to break through to the morning. I feel like I wont make it then the sun rises and I return to the normal world. The dreams fade away before my eyes but the fear lingers. The day comes and goes, and the night comes alive again. I re enter that land of dreams and start the fight all over.

The above mow is accompanied by a picture I worked on that I thought connected in a way to the above poem/writing thing. To each there own, if you see the connection that’s cool if not I just think the picture looks kinda cool.

mow: monologue

You know, you think these things would be a lot more simple. It’s not like it’s a big deal. I live my life, you live yours. Nothing else matters, right? Well maybe that’s just in the magical land of happiness and rainbows I dream about in my head. Things are different where I’m from. People don’t accept those who are different. Hell, they barely accept the people in their family. Happiness and smiles are a thing of the past here. People just trudge through the day to day living. Parents, kids, everyone. Families are just a few people living in the same house, nothing more. Worse of all there’s no love! You know what, don’t even get me started on love. People marry or date here because they need the extra income, or the prestige of a certain partner. Love never even enters the equation.

It’s all different for me though. I want love, and to be happy. I’m different then all them. I don’t know how I ended up here but as soon as I can I’m out of here. Nothings gonna get in my way. Well maybe me talking to myself. I should probably stop that now. Peace to this town, and hello to you world.

I just decided to kinda write an internal monologue of someone in something for this post for today. Sorry for no post yesterday, it was my 9 month anniversary and even though we didn’t get to hang out in person together, we spent the day doing stuff as a couple. I might be laying off the daily thoughts in place of trying to do more personal works but I need to hear more feedback from people out there to want to continue to do work. Thanks for reading everyone.

mow: are you happy now/#13: the struggle

The looks, the comments, the whispers when they don’t think I’m listening. The hate, the disgust and the contempt at my very presence and sight. They cut me wide open with no feeling of remorse. My heart and mind and soul weep openly. I don’t belong here, I don’t belong anywhere. They have taken everything from me.

I want to hate them and fight them but it’s all closing in around me, the dark feelings and thoughts. I can’t escape it. The tears fall down my face, a moan of pain escapes my lips. All the fight in me is gone. There’s no struggle, no fighting anymore. There’s nothing left for me. I close my eyes and accept it. Everything goes black and I know it’s done. No more tears. My heart stops, there’s no breath in my lungs. You’ve finally won. Are you happy now..? Was it worth another young life..?

*        *        *

This post is another one that I’ve just written a few moments ago while walking around outside or sitting in the other rooms of my house. It’s to all the bullies and people full of hate in their hearts out there. I’m calling to them all and seeing if it really was worth another life. Was bullying and making fun of someone worth the ultimate price that many kids these days actually go through with..? I don’t think it is. People are dying because someone thinks it’s okay to attack, physically and mentally, people who are different than themselves. I’ve felt this way from people at school and people in my own family and have thought about ending it all because the fight was just too much. It’s hurts and just eats away at you until you really are nothing but an empty shell. I wised up and realized that there really was something worth fighting for and not just giving up when the going got rough. I want everyone out there to read this and know that I’m telling you to not give up, no matter how bleak things may seem. There always is hope and always a reason to keep going. Don’t give up and hold strong.

mow: the rain

The wet grass glistens in the dim sunlight poking through the clouds. Birds fly from tree to tree while little critters scurry on the ground, all looking for their next meals. They explore the changed landscape. The rain seems to have invigorated everything. It washed away yesterday and gave the world a fresh start today. The birds and critters all seem happier, more carefree. Even the grass does. Everything does.. but me.

Why am I sitting alone, watching it all from my window, feeling like it’s still raining on me..?

I wrote this just a few minutes ago while sitting with a cup of tea in my kitchen, watching all the animals and birds playing outside my deck and glass sliding doors. I spent several minutes just staring before I needed to grab a pen and paper and just write something down, no matter how good or bad it turned out. This is what came of that urge there and it’s a pretty accurate description of kind of how I’m feeling today. It’s short and sweet but I like it so enjoy guys.

spotlight: runaway by brad

Hey all this is my first spotlight presentation by my good friend Brad. Read and enjoy and leave comments a plenty for his work.

Runaway.

The sweat runs down my face and yet I don’t wipe it away. My breathing is strained and my lungs are screaming at me to stop and I keep on moving. My mouth is dry and my lips begin to crack but I wont stop to take a drink. I am running far away…

I am running away from…
Family, Friends, and Love ones
My boss, My Coworkers, and work
Bills, Bill collectors, and money
Responsibility, Stress, Drama
I am running away

My eyes are full of tears but I don’t take the time to wipe them away. My heart is in pain and I can’t seem to heal it. My mind slips into chaos, but I won’t let it consume me. I have run so far and so long I am not sure where I am or who I am. All I know is I am running away…

The road carries me toward…
Silence, Solitude, and Peace
Reflection, meditation, and healing
Freedom, courage, and strength
Love, happiness, and fulfillment
But most of all it carries me to you.

You are standing at the finish line with a towel and a cup of water. You are calling my name telling me that it is all most through, that there is no need to run. I push harder and I am almost to the finish line. I am ready to stop running to stop fighting. As I reach the finish line I run toward you but you are not there. You were never there; you never were supposed to be there. You only exist in my dreams…

I wake up crying…

#12: inspiration

Today’s post is not gonna be much better then yesterdays. It’s getting hard to write these days thanks to certain problems and above all else just the issue of time. I quickly wanted to tell you all a few things and then try and get back tonight and write some more mows and hopefully my first spotlight (hint hint). Anyways I titled today’s post inspiration because while just doing random stuff around the house today, mainly playing games with my boyfriend, I got suddenly inspired to try and do something I haven’t done in years: write a fantasy epic story. I was brainstorming while playing a few games and I’m gonna start working on my latest story sometime tonight or tomorrow. Now don’t think that the untitled work in progress is done for, I’ll still be working on it as well and this is usually how my brain works. During the writing of each I’ll be hopping back and forth and posting things that I come up with on the blog as I write them.  To get an idea of what I’m gonna be writing for my fantasy piece, it’s gonna either be a story based in the worlds of one of the Fire Emblem games or of Final Fantasy Tactics Advanced. Thanks to my boyfriend I was inspired this afternoon to do something like this, so we will see what comes of it. Any thoughts, comments or ideas, you know what to do.

#11: books, storms & fights

I almost was gonna skip posting something today because I just haven’t been feeling much like writing these days. Everywhere there is drama and fights going on around me it seems like. My own thoughts tear me up and then the drama makes me feel even worse on top of that all. Sometimes I wonder why people can’t just shut their mouths and stop while they are ahead. Recently I’ve been standing up to my dad. He always comes homes, half plastered or on his way there, and yells at me to do this or that and says I don’t ever do enough to help out with the family. So instead of letting him walk all over me I’ve been forcing him to actually ask me to do something and not just command. Basically I’ve been forcing him to treat my like a human and his son instead of a slave labor kid that just happens to be living with him. So that’s been causing a lot of problems and random fights among everyone in the house here.

Also currently it is storming outside my window and I love it. The rain always makes me feel good, it’s like all the bad things and drama are being washed away just like the dirt and messes outside. The thunder and lightning is also kind of symbolic of all the turmoil in our personal lives and the world at large.

Finally for today, I wanted to post a list of books that I would be discussing in the coming weeks once I continue my movie posts sometime tomorrow. The books I will be talking about are; Almost Like Being in Love by Steve Kluger, Thinking Straight by Robin Reardon and Clay’s Way by Blair Mastbaum. Until then check out these books if you’d like and I’ll be hitting on them later on this week or next week.

#10: one week

Well today is the one week mark for the new blog. Thanks for reading and sticking with me through this trial period. What does everyone think of the blog..?

I’m enjoying writing on this more then my previous one and I just wanted to get some feedback today. I’ll write some more tomorrow and continue with my character studies that I’ve been doing. I’m gonna be branching out into books soon because there is a lot I have to say about them too. If any of you have any suggestions for posts you’d like to see or thoughts you have that may interests me or the other readers leave a comment below and I’ll see what I can do.